


The Job Interview

by Miss_Turing



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crack Maybe Taken Seriously?, Drabble, Gen, Humor, Whoops I forgot to break the DADA curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Turing/pseuds/Miss_Turing
Summary: Remember how back in the day, Tom Riddle really wanted the DADA position? Imagine Voldemort coming back year after year to interview for it, despite his day job as a Dark Lord.
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Voldemort
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	The Job Interview

**Year 1:**

"Tom, it doesn't count if you're possessing Quirinus. Please remove yourself from the back of his head."

"Then hire me."

"I'm afraid, my boy, that I'll have to decline your offer."

**Year 2:**

"You hired that buffoon, Lockhart? Really? I can't _possibly_ be worse than _him_ , your personal prejudices notwithstanding."

"I can't hear people without real bodies, Tom."

"W-What? You doddering old man; you just answered back."

Dumbledore casually pops more lemon drops into his mouth.

**Year 3-4:**

"Stop ignoring me. Give. Me. The. Job."

"I have to admit, my summers have been more peaceful now that Tom has given up." Dumbledore casually sips his tea while penning a letter to his candidate of choice.

**Year 5:**

"Look. Tada. Shiny new body. Hire me."

"But my boy, you're not even alive according to the Ministry. And it would be terrible form to contradict them when I’m already on thin ice."

**Year 6:**

"The Ministry's acknowledged my rebirth; you have no more candidates willing to take the job. Your move, old man."

"You'll be pleased to learn that I have finally approved Severus's application to be this year's DADA professor."

"Augh," Voldemort lets out a scream of frustration before stomping out of the room.

**Year 7:**

"Severus, despite the position _finally_ becoming available, I am unfortunately too busy to take up the role this year. Fill it however you wish with someone expendable because I haven't lifted the curse yet. Also, don't hire anyone for next year…" Red eyes narrow. "Or else you will be punished… _again_ …"

"…Of course, my Lord."

**Author's Note:**

> I figured this should be its own separate thing instead of being mushed with my dead plunnies because despite being so short in length, it's technically complete. There's not much else I can think of that I want happening here; I just wanted to explore this silly little idea. 
> 
> Hehe. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did thinking of it. :)


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